So I fux yo Bitch !!!! In da clicky clank
HELLOW!!!!!! Welcome to my journal... Rules: Don't be a pissbaby about anything I write here OK! This site is for me and not for you! Be thankful you get to read this in my snazzy glorious handwriting too.
Most recent entries will appear on top!! Scroll for older entries.
(o_n)/ enjoy your stay
Oh and don't send this to Ready To Glare because I will personally piss your pants
Friday, 12 February 2021 - 10:43
I had a test in film and tv-production class this morning, it went well. I got 42/44 points babey! I actually studied for it properly, too. Hope you're all proud of me for almost acing the test. Yesterday my period cramps were so bad that I almost threw up on the bus and couldn't keep my eyes open. I "borrowed" watercolour paint and a few paintbrushes from my school, it's not as if anyone'll notice haha. Right now I'm being lazy and chilling to Weezer. BEST BAND, case closed. I started a painting at school as well but didn't feel like finishing it, it didn't turn out right. Maybe I'll rewatch the Twilight saga or something later. I have some time with classmates and then history class, which is a big pain in the butt, BUT I will manage. A song by Ozma called "Domino Effect" just came on, the sound is very similar to that of Weezer. So I'm obviously adding it to my liked songs. Is it showing how bored I am? Can you tell?
Monday, 8 February 2021 - 20:30
This hasn't been such a shitty day actually. I don't feel as stressed over my assignments because I handed in my missing ones last week. Of course things will start to pile up again, it's inevitable when my teachers are assholes who can't grasp the fact that not everyone can handle their insane lesson plans.
Sunday, 7 February 2021 - 00:18
So I was just doing a bit of thinking. It hurts me a lot when my friends ignore my texts. And then, I was like, hmm. I really would never do that to them. I don't want them feeling that way because of me. I'm always there for them, always the first responder, always a helping hand or willing to put their needs on a pedestal. But nobody ever does that for me. Why am I so open to doing this shit when it's so one-sided? Clearly I can tell they don't care much for me or what I go through, yet I'm STILL. ALWAYS. THERE. I've said I'd never help anyone again unless they did the same for me, but time again I put effort into making things better for them anytime I can. To leave them on read, feeling lonely and miserable, that would be cruel. It's what they do to me and I wouldn't do it in return. The isolation I feel when nobody answers me is awful. I wish it didn't bother me.
Friday, 5 February 2021 - 23:06
OH HELLO. It's been a hot minute! Well more than a minute yeah. But hey, I'm still alive, and that's what matters. Quick runthrough of what's happened since last time (important stuffz only): didn't get diagnosed with PTSD but with Maladaptive Stress which is kinda the same thing? Lol. Was told I might be diagnosed with Bipolar when I'm older. Uhhh what else. I smoked weed for the first time like 2 weeks ago and it SUUUUCKED. Never fuckin doing that again! It was the worst throat pain I've ever had, worse than the pain I get from anxiety. Plus I barely felt anything. Just got a bit dizzy, for maybe 5 mins tops. And it was awkward as hell, cause the guy my friend and I smoked with, he's in year 3 and we barely know him haha. Then like a week later he said he liked me, as in LIKE like. But he's not my type in the slightest. It's a no from me. He said he still wanted to be friends but we've only texted twice since then. Goes to show, he probably just wanted to get into my pants, and when that didn't work out he decided to ghost. Oh and my 17th birthday passed. I'm the dancing queen now.
Friday, 19 September 2020 - 00:47
I love himbos! Anyway my body temperature went through the fucking roof out of nowhere and I feel like I'm dying, I don't know if there's any explanation as to why this is happening because I'm not even wearing hot clothing and my room isn't that warm. I just opened my window so we'll see if that helps me cool down. Off topic - I feel like my suicidal and homicidal thoughts are on a scale, constantly outweighing each other. Something sets me off and causes one side to get heavier, but then something else makes the other side heavier and they never get any lighter. Just keep getting heavier. But I'm not going to do anything. It's like when someone says they're so hungry they could eat a horse. That doesn't mean they're literally going to devour a horse.
Monday, 14 September 2020 - 20:20
Today was a bad day.
Thursday, 10 September 2020 - 11:30 / 17:03
Social services appointment today. Wish me luck. Hi, I'm back home. The appointment was awful. I cried and started shaking like a stupid scared kid. I also found out I'm being screened for PTSD.
Wednesday, 9 September 2020 - 12:09
Hello world wide web! I'm a loser who doesn't have enough motivation to get out of bed in the morning. Today I stayed home from school again, but at least I can blame it on the fact that I have a cold. There was only one class today either way because the first one got cancelled. And I hate the class that was left, digital creation. SO fucking boring because the teacher SUCKS!!! She gives me horse girl vibes, you know those girls who pretend to be horses in middle school. My exchange year application is almost done, I speeded through it last night. All I have to do now is write a letter to my future host family and provide some documents. Medical records, that kinda stuff. I'm really nervous and excited at the same time. I almost forgot I've got an appointment with social services tomorrow at 3. Not looking forward to that.
Tuesday, 8 September 2020 - 01:28 / 19:19
A quick little entry before bed to manifest good dreams tonight. Please don't let me have another nightmare. Hi it's me again, back on my bullshit later on in the day. I stayed home today because I felt sick. I stay home too much!!! Oh well, can't take it back now. Something cool that happened today is that I'm finally gonna start my exchange year application. I'm even getting the early bird discount hehe. Something not cool is that I feel the urge to pull away from everyone. I want to isolate myself and start over.
Monday, 7 September 2020 - 13:43
Hi, here's my first entry! Today I got a ride to school because my mom had to go in for work. I had art class and then I went home because I didn't want to stay for double science. My teacher wanted us all to run around a lake, kind of similar to the pacer test, to see our max pulse. I hate sports. On the way home I listened to Weezer, Bullet For My Valentine, All Time Low and Sleeping With Sirens. I finally got a refill for my phone so I can use data on the train. Now I'm home and working on my site! I want to add a bunch more graphics and make some more pages... I'll make a burn book for sure so I can talk shit. I'm very happy with how all of this is turning out so far.
HELLOW!!!!!! Welcome to my journal... Rules: Don't be a pissbaby about anything I write here OK! This site is for me and not for you! Be thankful you get to read this in my snazzy glorious handwriting too.
Most recent entries will appear on top!! Scroll for older entries.
(o_n)/ enjoy your stay
Oh and don't send this to Ready To Glare because I will personally piss your pants
Friday, 12 February 2021 - 10:43
I had a test in film and tv-production class this morning, it went well. I got 42/44 points babey! I actually studied for it properly, too. Hope you're all proud of me for almost acing the test. Yesterday my period cramps were so bad that I almost threw up on the bus and couldn't keep my eyes open. I "borrowed" watercolour paint and a few paintbrushes from my school, it's not as if anyone'll notice haha. Right now I'm being lazy and chilling to Weezer. BEST BAND, case closed. I started a painting at school as well but didn't feel like finishing it, it didn't turn out right. Maybe I'll rewatch the Twilight saga or something later. I have some time with classmates and then history class, which is a big pain in the butt, BUT I will manage. A song by Ozma called "Domino Effect" just came on, the sound is very similar to that of Weezer. So I'm obviously adding it to my liked songs. Is it showing how bored I am? Can you tell?
Monday, 8 February 2021 - 20:30
This hasn't been such a shitty day actually. I don't feel as stressed over my assignments because I handed in my missing ones last week. Of course things will start to pile up again, it's inevitable when my teachers are assholes who can't grasp the fact that not everyone can handle their insane lesson plans.
Sunday, 7 February 2021 - 00:18
So I was just doing a bit of thinking. It hurts me a lot when my friends ignore my texts. And then, I was like, hmm. I really would never do that to them. I don't want them feeling that way because of me. I'm always there for them, always the first responder, always a helping hand or willing to put their needs on a pedestal. But nobody ever does that for me. Why am I so open to doing this shit when it's so one-sided? Clearly I can tell they don't care much for me or what I go through, yet I'm STILL. ALWAYS. THERE. I've said I'd never help anyone again unless they did the same for me, but time again I put effort into making things better for them anytime I can. To leave them on read, feeling lonely and miserable, that would be cruel. It's what they do to me and I wouldn't do it in return. The isolation I feel when nobody answers me is awful. I wish it didn't bother me.
Friday, 5 February 2021 - 23:06
OH HELLO. It's been a hot minute! Well more than a minute yeah. But hey, I'm still alive, and that's what matters. Quick runthrough of what's happened since last time (important stuffz only): didn't get diagnosed with PTSD but with Maladaptive Stress which is kinda the same thing? Lol. Was told I might be diagnosed with Bipolar when I'm older. Uhhh what else. I smoked weed for the first time like 2 weeks ago and it SUUUUCKED. Never fuckin doing that again! It was the worst throat pain I've ever had, worse than the pain I get from anxiety. Plus I barely felt anything. Just got a bit dizzy, for maybe 5 mins tops. And it was awkward as hell, cause the guy my friend and I smoked with, he's in year 3 and we barely know him haha. Then like a week later he said he liked me, as in LIKE like. But he's not my type in the slightest. It's a no from me. He said he still wanted to be friends but we've only texted twice since then. Goes to show, he probably just wanted to get into my pants, and when that didn't work out he decided to ghost. Oh and my 17th birthday passed. I'm the dancing queen now.
Friday, 19 September 2020 - 00:47
I love himbos! Anyway my body temperature went through the fucking roof out of nowhere and I feel like I'm dying, I don't know if there's any explanation as to why this is happening because I'm not even wearing hot clothing and my room isn't that warm. I just opened my window so we'll see if that helps me cool down. Off topic - I feel like my suicidal and homicidal thoughts are on a scale, constantly outweighing each other. Something sets me off and causes one side to get heavier, but then something else makes the other side heavier and they never get any lighter. Just keep getting heavier. But I'm not going to do anything. It's like when someone says they're so hungry they could eat a horse. That doesn't mean they're literally going to devour a horse.
Monday, 14 September 2020 - 20:20
Today was a bad day.
Thursday, 10 September 2020 - 11:30 / 17:03
Social services appointment today. Wish me luck. Hi, I'm back home. The appointment was awful. I cried and started shaking like a stupid scared kid. I also found out I'm being screened for PTSD.
Wednesday, 9 September 2020 - 12:09
Hello world wide web! I'm a loser who doesn't have enough motivation to get out of bed in the morning. Today I stayed home from school again, but at least I can blame it on the fact that I have a cold. There was only one class today either way because the first one got cancelled. And I hate the class that was left, digital creation. SO fucking boring because the teacher SUCKS!!! She gives me horse girl vibes, you know those girls who pretend to be horses in middle school. My exchange year application is almost done, I speeded through it last night. All I have to do now is write a letter to my future host family and provide some documents. Medical records, that kinda stuff. I'm really nervous and excited at the same time. I almost forgot I've got an appointment with social services tomorrow at 3. Not looking forward to that.
Tuesday, 8 September 2020 - 01:28 / 19:19
A quick little entry before bed to manifest good dreams tonight. Please don't let me have another nightmare. Hi it's me again, back on my bullshit later on in the day. I stayed home today because I felt sick. I stay home too much!!! Oh well, can't take it back now. Something cool that happened today is that I'm finally gonna start my exchange year application. I'm even getting the early bird discount hehe. Something not cool is that I feel the urge to pull away from everyone. I want to isolate myself and start over.
Monday, 7 September 2020 - 13:43
Hi, here's my first entry! Today I got a ride to school because my mom had to go in for work. I had art class and then I went home because I didn't want to stay for double science. My teacher wanted us all to run around a lake, kind of similar to the pacer test, to see our max pulse. I hate sports. On the way home I listened to Weezer, Bullet For My Valentine, All Time Low and Sleeping With Sirens. I finally got a refill for my phone so I can use data on the train. Now I'm home and working on my site! I want to add a bunch more graphics and make some more pages... I'll make a burn book for sure so I can talk shit. I'm very happy with how all of this is turning out so far.